Exploring My Definition of Trust by Defining Love.

A dragonfly keeping me company on the last mile of my run.

I have had this book for years. Picked it up a few times, read a paragraph or two but couldn’t manage to dive in. This week seemed to conjure the right amount of interest, openness, and willingness.

I would like to share Bell Hooks’ definition of love.

“the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.”

Bell Hooks uses psychatrist Scott Peck’s definition of love, from a book he wrote The Road Less Traveled. She further goes on to talk about Peck’s definition. “Some folks have difficulty with the word ‘spiritual'. He is referring to that dimension of our core reality where mind, body, and spirit are one. An individual does not need to be a believer in a religion to embrace the idea that there is as animating principle in the self—a life force (some of us call it soul) that when nurtured enhances our capacity to be more fully self-actualized and able to engage in communication with the world around us.“

I find this definition of love is actionable. I can do something, I can choose to love. I can choose to give my energy to nurture the growth of myself or others. This is a balm in our current world where I routinely feel disempowered and or hopeless, it is a carousel really.

I have a feeling people who choose to love shine bright , we catch their vibe, they become a gathering place, becoming a guide to show us how we can live.

Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth. I have been repeating this to myself, reading and rereading it.

To direct my energy to be more fully self-actualized and engage with the world around me , to share my energy and send it to another with the intent of nurturing their growth.

I have recently begun to explore my relationship with/to trust. To be honest, I was having a more than difficult time completing an exercise asking me to recall and feel moments of trust and distrust at different points of time in my life.

As a way to calm the thought spiral I could feel gurgling up inside of me, I defaulted to my science background. I talked myself down from the mid/pre spiral and said, “Okay Catie, what is your definition of trust?”, “You can do this, one small part at a time. Lets start there”.

What is my definition of trust? Well, pinning that down was an elusive and bereft practice. How could I have no definition for something so important, so seemingly basic?

So I tucked this away into the sulci my brain. To noodle around and ferment. To let the behind the sceners of my brain and spirit make a little trust kimchi or kombucha, or a spicy pickle even. Break it down to tease it out.

I left it for weeks, and really didn’t really think much about it until I was several chapters and reads into all about love. I remember sitting on the porch one day mid-read, and the thought gremlins who had been working tirelessly on my behalf, sent me a brain text. What if defining what love is, is, how you begin to define trust.

Defining love will give you the framework, freedom , and safety net to explore the work of defining trust. Not only love for yourself, but love for others, love for community, love for nature, tearing down the separateness. to define, and also rebuild trust.

to be continued…

xo catie